Most Funny Jokes Ever

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><ul><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc5aedXj0zmBOtUYr5AEfpXs7pAfKMm0Xx4hEnJA6a1dce71p1V6KUgn7t3o1C0kyasdu04_RoBZeU4viosrXOjYG2X6RfwCqjXFPhD4s-vbdfxdQDJ_Zu6fjRkzdt4WPkzkevNq0rHS8/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc5aedXj0zmBOtUYr5AEfpXs7pAfKMm0Xx4hEnJA6a1dce71p1V6KUgn7t3o1C0kyasdu04_RoBZeU4viosrXOjYG2X6RfwCqjXFPhD4s-vbdfxdQDJ_Zu6fjRkzdt4WPkzkevNq0rHS8/s320/1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>A husband came home and found his wife in bed with a stranger. He was furious and wanted to leave at once. The wife pleaded, give me a moment to explain.</b></i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><b><div style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; text-align: justify;"><i><b>     This man came to my door an hour ago and asked for something to eat. I gave him a sandwich. I noticed that his shoes were worn out, so I looked in your closet and found a pair that you haven't had on your feet for three years, and I gave him the shoes to put on.</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>     Then I saw that his jacket was very torn, so I went back to your closet and found a jacket that you haven't worn for six years.</b></i></div></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>     When he took his old jacket off to put on, I saw that his shirt was falling to pieces, so I opened your bureau drawer and gave him a shirt that you haven't worn for the past ten years.</b></i></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>     Then as this man was going out of the door he turned and asked..."</b></i></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>     The man asked the lady.. "Is there anything else around here that your husband doesn't use?"<br /><br /></b></i></div></span></b></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"Mama," asked a 7-year-old boy, "what does transatlantic mean?"</i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>    "Across the Atlantic, of course," replied his mother, "Trans always means 'across'."</i></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     Then the boy continued..."Then I suppose," continued the boy, "transparent means a cross parent."<br /><br /></i></div></span></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Afraid of their parents' disapproval, the boy and girl in love decided to elope. The date and time were fixed for the elopement. At the appointment time the boy climbed the ladder and tapped on her window. She opened the window softly.</b></i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><b><div style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; text-align: justify;"><i><b>    "Are you ready?" He asked rather loudly.</b></i></div><div style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; text-align: justify;"><i><b>    "Sssssh! Not so loud!" she whispered. "I'm so afraid father will catch us."</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>    "That's alright," said the boy. "He's down below holding the ladder."<br /><br /></b></i></div></span></b></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">In a crowded bus, a shabbily dressed little boy had taken a seat by the side of the lady who had an ugly look and haughty temperament but was very well dressed. They boy had severe cold and was sniffing all the way, which was very annoying to the lady. Finally, she could not tolerate any more and turned to the boy and asked.. "Have you got a handkerchief?"</i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The boy answered.. "Yes, but I don't lend it to strangers."<br /><br /></i></div></span></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>The great Canadian Sir William Osler was lecturing on alcohol one day.</b></i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><b><div style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; text-align: justify;"><i><b>     "Is it true," asked the student, "that alcohol makes people do things better?"</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>     "No," replied Sir William. "It just makes them less ashamed of doing them badly."<br /><br /></b></i></div></span></b></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">A surgeon was taking a walk with his wife when a young and lively woman greeted him gaily. The doctor's wife eyed him narrowly.</i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "Where," she asked, "did you meet that person, my dear?"</i></div></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "Just a young woman," said the doctor, "I met her professionally."</i></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "I see," murmured his wife and then asked him politely..</i></div></span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "Yours or hers?"<br /><br /></i></div></span></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>A woman and her baby were trapped in a fire. A fireman saw them standing at the window and cried.. "Throw your baby down I'll catch him. I'm the firemen's football team goalkeeper and I haven't let a ball past me in ten years."</b></i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><b><div style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; text-align: justify;"><i><b>     The woman threw her baby down and sure enough the fireman caught him.</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>     He caught the baby, bounced him on the ground and kicked him over the street.<br /><br /></b></i></div></span></b></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Salesman to proprietor.. "A man is demanding poison for $5 to terminate his life. What should I do?"</i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The proprietor advised him.. "Tell him that it would cost $500 and that fellow will go away."<br /><br /></i></div></span></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>A middle-aged woman was bitten by a mad dog. She was hospitalised. The doctors lost hope for her and they were quite sure she would succumb to hydrophobia. One of the doctors informed her.</b></i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><b><div style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; text-align: justify;"><i><b>     "You can write your last wish and will," the doctor said.</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>     "Well, I want to write the names of those whom I am going to bite," she replied.<br /><br /></b></i></div></span></b></i></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">A young woman in a tight-fitting skirt attempted to board the bus. Conscious that the tightness of the skirt made it impossible for her to life her leg to the level of the first step of the bus, she reached behind hurriedly and adjusted the zip to loosen it, but it remained too tight. She reached back and adjusted the zip again, but to no avail. The queue of commuters behind her became restless as she tried to adjust her zip again without success.</i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     Suddenly a man standing behind her took her by the hips and lifted her bodily into the bus. She turned on him and screamed.. "How dare you be so familiar with me!"</i></div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "That's strange coming from you," he replied. "You've just unzipped my fly three times!"</i><br /><i><br /></i><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3PwMAtvoQAG6WSygEG1uKtLrBGzVbi0_H9ebaBv_jkscdRbQjpy13aBz-FG2OMUscUOS57rRUi0qIglt4NGE0qO1yGHAVs8hcyl80hEAYEpBRp3FJe2nU-yPXfrsGj7pzn8o11gX5eEk/s1600/2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3PwMAtvoQAG6WSygEG1uKtLrBGzVbi0_H9ebaBv_jkscdRbQjpy13aBz-FG2OMUscUOS57rRUi0qIglt4NGE0qO1yGHAVs8hcyl80hEAYEpBRp3FJe2nU-yPXfrsGj7pzn8o11gX5eEk/s1600/2.png" /></a></div><i><br /></i></div></span></i></li></ul></div>

Most Funny Jokes Ever

A husband came home and found his wife in bed with a stranger. He was furious and wanted to leave at once. The wife pleaded, give me a momen...

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The Best Cool Jokes Ever

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLeS4OhjgxUeHxFps86Hlkdb2Q7y-j-VaZbcrPviSqXqtgFVf1ggKWFOYlXf9i7cJJZyPcPw88NCzYFU1yRo2QYiLrZ6HdXm5jh7nnSvvkmgY1ir5Ja07tnq4IEFrc890EZlhNOi0mA8/s1600/11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLeS4OhjgxUeHxFps86Hlkdb2Q7y-j-VaZbcrPviSqXqtgFVf1ggKWFOYlXf9i7cJJZyPcPw88NCzYFU1yRo2QYiLrZ6HdXm5jh7nnSvvkmgY1ir5Ja07tnq4IEFrc890EZlhNOi0mA8/s320/11.jpg" width="297" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><ul><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There was this little girl who said to her teacher, "Miss, I wish I'd been alive 2,000 years ago."</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     Her teacher asked, "Really Rosy? Why's that?"</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>  The girl replied, "There would have been so much less history to learn."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A college boy said to his mother, "I have decided to take to politics after my studies and to clean up the mess in the world."</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     His mother reacted to his proposition and said, "That's very nice. You can go upstairs and start with your room."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Husband: "That damned wife of mine is a liar!"</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Friend: "How do you know?"</i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Husband: "Because she said she spent the night with Leena."</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Friend: "So?"</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Husband: "But I spent the night with Leena!"<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">John got a call at the office from his wife. "Tell me my dear," she asked, "Wednesday is our fifteenth wedding anniversary..</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "What special present do you want from your loving wife?"</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     John replied, "You mean I can ask for anything?"</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "You can ask for anything."</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     John asked, "How about 5 minutes of silence."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"There's mutual feeling between my wife and me."</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "That's nice."</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "No, it's not."</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     He replied, "We hate each other."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Father: "I see you got a 'D' for conduct but an 'A' for courtesy. How is that possible?"</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Son: "Whenever I kick someone, I apologise."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A small girl was told she needed an X-ray. When she came out of the X-ray room, she told her mother, "They took a picture of my bones."</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "Yes, dear," replied the mother. "Did everything go alright?"</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The small replied, "Sure." "It was amazing. I didn't even have to take my skin off."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In a party a woman was requested by the organisers to sing. After she sang, she proudly announced that she had spent $25,000 to learn music.</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "I want you to meet my brother," interjected a guest.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "Is he a critic or an agent?" asked the singer.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The man replied "Neither," "He is a lawyer. He'll get your money back."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A woman was noted for her bargaining skills particularly with vegetable vendors. She would never buy anything without reducing the quoted price.</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     One day she asked her son studying in the second standard, "How much is 2 x 2=?"</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The boy replied, "Six."</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>   "Son, you ought to learn your tables better. The answer is four."</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>    The boy said triumphantly, "I know it is 4. But if I say six you will bring it down to four."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mom: "You have been fighting again and lost two of your front teeth."</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Son: "No, I have not lost them."</i></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "What do you mean? Two of your front teeth are missing."</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The boy unhesitatingly proved his point that he had not lost his teeth.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The boy replied, "The teeth are not missing. I have got them in my pocket."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A famous boxer had to use the washroom attached to the waiting room at the railway station and fearing his overcoat might be stolen, he attached a ticket to it before hanging it on a peg in the waiting room.</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The ticket read: "Owned by a famou<b>s Boxer </b>who will be back in 5 minutes."</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     When he returned for his overcoat a little later, all he found was a ticket which read...</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "Taken by a <b>Champion Sprinter</b>, who won't return."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "The customer is going to return here pretty mad," he predicted to his boss.</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "Shall I give him his money back?"</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     The boss shouted at him and said "Money back?" roared the boss.</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>     "What kind of salesman are you? Go out there and sell him a motor boat."<br /><br /></i></div></i></span></li><li><div style="text-align: justify;"><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In a co-education college a boy and a girl fell in love and decided to marry. The boy was doing his doctoral research and the girl her masters degree.</span></i></div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><i><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">     One day the boy spiritedly told his girl..."Darling when I complete my degree, will you call me <b>Doctor</b>?"</span></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">     The replied promptly "Of course. But when I finish my degree, you must call me '<b>Master</b>'."<br /></span></i><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvmseVsWYmnYhua7fzhDVFTrWBzlY4tyaLhJQMXxfG7wKHyUg3mkCJzWpEswjQp5hbzg2fkNe0jXLM-GJirScI-zBtgq88IyujPfXRoQM0mToIh14U5_cU-ZYAb2q6ytoL7yG-DnKGhpw/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvmseVsWYmnYhua7fzhDVFTrWBzlY4tyaLhJQMXxfG7wKHyUg3mkCJzWpEswjQp5hbzg2fkNe0jXLM-GJirScI-zBtgq88IyujPfXRoQM0mToIh14U5_cU-ZYAb2q6ytoL7yG-DnKGhpw/s320/2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div></div></i></span></li></ul></div>

The Best Cool Jokes Ever

There was this little girl who said to her teacher, "Miss, I wish I'd been alive 2,000 years ago."      Her teacher asked, ...

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